A Harry Potter Western

It was past noon when he and his half-dead horse made it into the small town. The sun was sweltering and the town had appeared almost out of nowhere. It was a dust bowl, but it was also his salvation. He figured that it had sprung up during the gold rush and the people were too poor or lazy to pack up and leave. It hardly could be called a town. It consisted of a single main street, with 10 or so buildings lining it and a few tiny houses plopped here and there around the center of the town. According to the sign nailed to the side of the first building, this little random occurrence was called Dark Gulch. The man managed a dry chuckle at the sign and peered up at the sun for a second. It was anything but dark here and with the exception of the mountains in the far background, the area was flat for miles. He hoped there was at least a saloon here, where he could satiate his thirst before he moved on.

The man had an unusual scar on his forehead, curiously shaped like a bolt of lightning. He wore round glasses and a light colored traveler’s outfit. His shoes were severely scuffed and worn down, and his clothes were in no better shape.

There was indeed a Saloon, so creatively named too. He hitched his horse outside the Dark Gulch Saloon, next to an aged tub filled with water. He took one last drag off of his hand rolled cigarette as his horse drank deeply.

There wasn’t much to see inside the saloon. A few men were in the front right corner playing poker, and two young women wearing men’s overalls and white shirts, were giggling over something they were carving into the table they were sitting at, which was right next to the entrance. A pretty woman in tight serving clothes and bushy brown  hair was behind the bar wiping a glass. He looked up with relief at the row of four rooms above the bar. He’d have a place to sleep tonight that wasn’t the rocky ground after all.

All the tables were covered with a thin layer of the same dry reddish dirt that composed much of the terra firma around here, and the piano in the back left corner next to the bar looked as if it hadn’t been touched in years. Perhaps it didn’t even work. The stairs leading to the upper level were rickety and located in the back right corner of the saloon. He walked over the dirty floor straight to the bar. The woman looked at him at first with bored eyes, then with interest. Apparently, they didn’t get many strangers in these parts.

“Well, hello there stranger,” the woman said and put the glass down. She had a sweet voice. He returned her greeting with a tip of his hat.

“Greetings Ma’am. Can I get a double shot of whiskey?” He asked and placed 25 knuts on the bar. She grinned and put a glass on the bar. She poured him a double, took his money and pocketed it. He took the shot and forced back the urge to gag. It wasn’t anything that he didn’t expect. It tasted like homemade whiskey. It wet his mouth so he didn’t complain.

“What brings you to our quaint little town out here?” She asked. “We so rarely see visitors anymore,”

“Just passing through. My name’s Harry Potter. What might your name be?” he asked.

“Hermione,” she said eyeing him. “Will you be staying with us tonight?”

“If you have a room,” he said. Hermione laughed heartily at this and nodded.

“Take your pick. They’re all vacant. No one ever bothers stopping here,” she said as he felt a sudden, sharp pain on his butt. He turned around quickly to see one of the girls in overalls running away from him, with the other one, hopping up and down at the entrance excitedly.

“Didja git’im Ginny?” screamed the one by the entrance. ‘Ginny’ hollered back at her companion.

“You betcha Luna, I done pinched his butt REAAAAAAAAL GOOD,” she answered. The two ran out of the saloon howling like mad, happy children. Harry looked slowly back at Hermione, who was shaking her head.

“Who were they?” he asked. Hermione sighed.

“The town lunatics, Luna and Ginny. They live right on the outskirts of town in a shack. I think they’re sisters. They come in here almost every day and get rip-roaring drunk and hoot and holler like that. I have yet to find out where they get their money from. So sorry about that,” she said and sighed.

“No it’s ok,” Harry said, still hearing the two female screams getting further away. “Anyway, how much for a room?” He asked. Hermione wiped out his glass.

“Two galleons will get you a bed to sleep in. Three galleons will get you the room with the bathtub. And three fifty gets you all that, plus your clothing laundered,” she said. Harry handed Hermione three fifty, and she handed him a room key.

“It’s the first room right up the stairs. Let me know when you’ll be taking your bath, I have to heat and bring up the water myself,” she said.

“I’ll be wanting one now, actually, if it isn’t too much trouble for you ma’am,” he said. She shook her head and offered a kind smile.

“Not at all,” she said and walked outback to the water pump and fire grate. Harry got his personal effects from the horse and with in the hour, was relaxing in a nice hot bath for the first time in a week.

***

Meanwhile, in a small cave, sitting next to a fire, was another man. Presently he was picking at his thumbnail with a large knife. He was hiding out from the law. He’d just robbed a bank in the east. The man knew they were still looking for him, but figured the mountains would hinder their progress. Still, he couldn’t stay here forever. Two horses standing on the outside of a cave would look suspicious if anyone did happen on the area. Plus he was getting restless.

A small scorpion crawled up and rested on his boot. He looked down and speared the small creature on the end of his knife and stuck it, still wiggling in pain, over the fire. Its insides whistled and popped over the fire for the few minutes it was there, before he drew it out and took a bite of its head section. It was disgusting, but he was hungry. Rather gooey.

“I need to get out of here,” he said looking at the partially eaten arachnid and tossing it aside. He was Lord Voldemort, and deserved better then a diet of scorpions and a life hidden away in caves. He could ride his new fortune down over the border maybe and find a cute little woman who would pamper him and cook exotic meals for him. The thought made him smile. He stood up and picked up the large bag of bills that he had been sitting on. Voldemort kicked some dirt over the fire to put it out and walked out of the small cave. He lugged the large bag over the back of his packhorse and got on his riding horse and headed south out of the mountains.

***

Later that day, Harry wandered back downstairs. To his amazement, there was a large crowd of people in the Saloon. Ginny and Luna were there too, this time they were each wearing sandwich boards, advertising for “Alien Abduction Insurance, Low Rates” and drinking scotch. There were several tables filled, people playing poker, drinking games and spades. Hermione looked busy at the bar, but she still managed to glance up at him and give him a polite nod. He nodded back and took out a cigarette.

Slowly, people began to look at Harry. He tried to ignore this as best he could. He thought they should have been looking at Luna and Ginny but figured that the town’s people were used to them. He was something new to look at and talk about. Great.

“Hello sir, I don’t believe I’ve seen you here before,” came a gentle voice. He turned around and looked at a well-dressed woman with long blonde hair. He smiled at her and tipped his hat as he had done with Hermione the first time. She was wearing a red dress, with a high collar and long sleeves. There were black buttons going all the way down the length of the dress. Each button was adorned with a painted red rose.

“That’s because it’s my first day here. I’m Harry Potter,” he said. The woman smiled.

“Well Mr. Potter, my name is Lavender. I own the general store on the edge of town,” she smiled as another voice chimed in. It was Luna.

“Ooooooo, look at Lavender! Making nice with the new guy when she should be preparing for the imminent doom of the human race! Brochure?” she said and stuffed a hand written leaflet into Harry’s hand, titled “Aliens on your back?” He looked at it and flipped it over. On the back was a wanted sign for a shady looking character named Lord Voldemort. Luna got slightly miffed and flipped it back over for him. Harry caught Hermione’s eye and she poured him a double shot of whiskey without a word.

“We ran out of paper. I don’t know why you people think that sign is so interesting,” Luna mumbled and wandered off. Lavender looked a little annoyed with the interruption, but she smiled.

“So if you ever need anything, you can come to my store. I’ve got everything from food and milk to clothing. There’s a telegraph machine there, so you can order anything you need. It’s the only way we stay in touch with the rest of the world,” she said. Harry was about to thank her when the saloon doors opened. Everyone glanced towards the entrance and quieted. They’d all seen his face before, even Harry. Lord Voldemort made his way into the bar. He walked slowly by the tables. The room was silent. Even Luna and Ginny seemed to have enough sense to remain quiet. The two looked at each other and nodded. They took off their sandwich boards and flipped them inside out, so now another advertisement was showing that said, “Snakes Got You Down? Ask us for Voldeproof Brainwave scramblers,” The two also put on tinfoil hats. Voldemort didn’t seem to notice them as he walked up to the bar between Lavender and Harry. Hermione forced a smile. Harry finished his cigarette and dropped the butt in a spittoon that was right next to his feet. He was sure the whole room heard the hiss of the nasty fluids killing the ember on his smoke.

“Scotch, leave the bottle,” he said in a low voice. Harry could see how he’d gotten the name Voldemort. He was tall and thin, with a pale complexion. Harry couldn’t have thought of a more fitting name himself. Hermione complied and left Voldemort a shot glass and the bottle. He drank several shots before turning around to face the people in the bar, who were all still staring at him.

“Yes, I am Lord Voldemort,” he said with a plain tone. “I’ll be staying here a few days and I’d be much obliged if you just kept that to yourselves,” he said as Lavender started to non-chalantly step away from the bar. Voldemort reached out and grabbed her wrist. Harry pushed away from the bar, ready to defend her, but Voldemort spoke in a soft voice to her.

“Don’t bother miss, I’ve already dug up the line and cut it,” he said and let go of her wrist. She tugged it away and held it. He looked around, making eye contact with every person in the saloon. Harry stepped forward.

“I don’t think the people of this town wish to harbor criminals. I think it’s just best you leave and let them be,” Harry found his voice to be much louder then he’d meant it to be. Maybe it was just the silence in the room. Voldemort turned and looked at him, then grinned.

“Well look here, we got ourselves a fancy city slicker! From the way you’re dressed, saying you’re not from around these parts isn’t even necessary. Not with them fancy chaps and that nice hat you’re wearing. I prefer my own ten gallon my self,” Voldemort said as he took off his hat and admired it.

“You’re right, I’m just passing through, and I suggest you do the same. You might upset the law here,” Harry said. Voldemort chortled and put his hat back on.

“Law? In a town like this? HA! I’ll break this bottle over my own head if there’s so much as a paddle for naughty cookie stealing children in this town, much less any type of law man,” he looked back at Hermione and sniggered.

“Tell me honey, is there a law man here?” he asked with a smooth voice. Hermione looked to Harry and back to Voldemort. She shook her head.

“N-no, there isn’t,” she said. Voldemort burst into fits of laughter and looked back at Harry.

“Ya hear that fancy pants? No law man!” Voldemort flicked Harry’s hat off his head. Voldemort then stepped past him towards the stairs. He heard a click and felt something hard pressed against the back of his skull and stopped. He turned around and stared down the barrel of Harry’s six-shooter. Harry held up the wanted poster.

“It says here, dead or alive. I think I’ve chosen,” Harry said. To his surprise, Voldemort simply kept grinning.

“What are you grinning at? You’re staring down the barrel of a gun, it’s hardly anything to smile about, unless you’re mad,” Harry croaked. His throat was dryer then a bucket of sand.

“No, I’m not mad. I was merely thinkin’ about the young girl I have held up in the mountains. I know very well what that sign says, but would you kill the only man that could tell you the location of a missing girl?” he laughed at Harry.

“You’re bluffing,” Harry said looking into Voldemort’s eyes. Voldemort raised an eyebrow.

“Am I? Are you willing to risk it? Go ahead, pull the trigger and collect your prize,” he said as Lavender found her voice.

“Girl?” she asked with a sudden look of worry. She stepped forward and looked at Voldemort. “What girl?”

Voldemort chuckled and looked at Lavender.

“Oh just a girl I found wandering outside of town a week ago, I’ve been here before you know. She’s just a young thing. Says her name is Parvati,” Voldemort was cut short by a scream from Lavender.

            “You fiend! You haven’t hurt her have you? HAVE YOU?” Lavender screamed at an ear piercing level.

            “I’ve been mulling over it for a while, but I could always have my mind changed to the side of good,” Voldemort said as he reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. Lavender cringed at the touch.

            “That’s enough,” Harry poked Voldemort in the head with the gun. “These people have done nothing to harm you, Why torment them?”

            “One has to look out for them selves,” Voldemort smiled and shrugged, holding his hands out. Lavender lost her temper and smacked Voldemort.

            “I’ll kill you myself if you harm a hair on her head, do you hear me Voldemort, I’m not scared of you and I never will be,” Lavender said through clenched teeth. Harry glanced around the room, with his gun still drawn.

            “If we let you go, will you show us where she is?” Harry asked. Voldemort shrugged and spit on the floor.

            “Maybe, but I have my priorities,” he said.

            “Like?”

            “Reaching the border and staying alive. That’s why I got myself that little insurance policy up in the mountains. But I really don’t think that’s any of your business,” Voldemort said.

            “I’m about to make it my business. I’ve decided that I’m taking this town under my wing as Sheriff, and I doubt anyone here will try and stop me,” Harry said as Luna and Ginny started cheering and do-si-doing in the corner.

            “New guy is the Sherrrrrrr-iff, New guy is the Sherrrrrr-iff!” They chanted as they danced, their sandwich boards flopping up and down. People in the saloon tried to keep from laughing at the two. Voldemort and Harry ignored the fracas, not daring to look away from each other.

            “So, city slicker thinks he has what it takes to be a sheriff? We’ll just see about that. I’ll think over what you said and I’ll see you tomorrow. Looks like I’ll be spending one more day out there after all. I was looking forward to a nice bed for a change. Keep in mind, this factor will weigh on my decision,” Voldemort said and pushed Harry’s gun away from his head, and moseyed out the saloon, staring everyone down as he walked. No one dared to breathe again till the saloon doors stopped swinging on their hinges. As soon as he was gone, Lavender clutched her hands over her mouth and slid down the bar slowly until she sat on the floor, with tears welling up in her eyes.

            “Well,” Hermione said and broke the silence, as Harry helped Lavender up off the floor and to the closest chair. Luna and Ginny sat down with her and rubbed the side of her arms in a comforting fashion. Their actions surprised Harry, but he figured that being mad didn’t have to mean emotionally dead.

“I guess this means you’ll be making your home here in Dark Gulch,” Hermione continued. He smirked.

            “I’m not so sure. I don’t think you should have to bear the weight of a criminal running free in your town, but I’m not so sure I want to stay either,” he said and looked to the rest of the saloon.

“I’ll need a deputy who’ll be willing to take my place if I die or leave. Does anyone feel up to the challenge?” He asked. For a minute, the bar was silent. Then, towards the entrance, a single hand was raised. Harry walked over and stared at the young man.

            “What’s your name son?” He asked. The man stood up. He was tall and built like a whip. His clothes, though dusty, looked to be quality.

            “Seamus,” he said in an unmistakably Irish accent. Harry smiled.

            “Can you handle a gun?” he asked. Seamus nodded.

            “You’ll do then,” he said. Seamus looked to the saloon doors then back to Harry.

            “Should we follow him? See where he’s hiding out. Maybe he’ll lead us to her,” he asked. Everyone was surprised when Harry shook his head.

            “No. He might see us and we don’t want to anger him. That girl’s life is a bargaining chip to him, and he’s not even that interested in the game. We’ll track him later tonight. Hopefully the wind will say calm and preserve the tracks,”

***

            Harry’s plan was put into action after he questioned Lavender about Parvati. It turned out the girl worked for Lavender and had gone on an extended trip to a larger farming community, where Lavender owned a cow ranch to get some cattle to bring back for meat to stock in the store. She’d noted that Parvati was taking longer then usual, but hadn’t thought much of it until Voldemort had mentioned her name.

            When Harry and Seamus had checked outside the saloon, they noted that Voldemort had two horses, one was no doubt used for carrying his possessions and the other for riding. After buying more ammunition for their guns, and a new shotgun, smoking tobacco for Harry and a lantern, they set out about 2 hours before sunset, following the trail, but were forced to turn back after the wind and dust started kicking up. Seamus was adamant that dust devils were dangerous and it was for their own safety. Harry didn’t think he would mind a bit of dirt in his eyes, but decided it was smarter to follow the advice of a local then to follow his own judgements. He hated having to trust Voldemort. The man had done nothing to deserve the honor of Harry’s trust. Harry distracted himself from thoughts of Voldemort’s character with a cigarette.

            Seamus was an interesting fellow. He told Harry all about his childhood. He was the 5th of 10 children, seven boys and three girls. The whole family had grown up in a large farming community. Seamus was the only son that didn’t want to be a farmer and set out west when he was just old enough, and somehow ended up in Dark Gulch, where he’d spent the last five years. He wasn’t new to crime fighting either. He explained to Harry how he’d gotten a boatload of money a few years back for live capture of a train robber named Draco Malfoy.

“That was you?” Harry asked. He’d read about the capture of Draco Malfoy back east. Seamus nodded.

Harry halfway listened to the rest of Seamus’ life story as they ambled back into the small town. They were surprised to find everyone standing outside with lanterns, waiting for them.

            “He came back while you were gone! He said that he’s decided to exchange the girl for his freedom,” Hermione said. Harry raised an eyebrow.

            “That was quick,” he said and exchanged looks with Seamus. “When?”

            “Tomorrow at noon,” Lavender said as she walked up. Seamus scrunched his face.

            “Noon? That’s a little cliché isn’t it? No one fights at noon anymore. Everyone knows 12:30 is a far more convenient time,” he said as Luna walked up to the two with something in her hand and offered it to Seamus. It was a piece of paper. He took it and looked at it,”

            “It’s a letter! It says ‘Dear Luna, you may already be a win-’ what the heck are you showing this to me for?” he said and tossed it back at Luna who was giggling in a drunken fashion. Ginny sniggered and picked the paper up and gave it back to Seamus.

            “You were looking at the wrong side silly,” she managed before bursting into fits of hysterical giggles. Seamus humbled and read the letter out loud

Dear City Slicker,

Ok, I’ve thought about it long enough. Luckily these two ladies were kind enough to lend me some ink and paper to write you this little note. The girl is yours. She has little use to me now. Be in the center of town at noon tomorrow to make the exchange.

                                                                      Voldemort

            Lavender had her eyes closed as the letter was read. She couldn’t believe this was all taking place in one day. When Harry had woken up in the morning, neither he, nor did the people of Dark Gulch realize that their lives would be changing. Now that he was sheriff, they’d have to build a jailhouse for him. They’d probably move the telegraph line and the mail into the same building. She wondered where and how the town would afford the wood it needed to build a structure like that. She had to put all her hope and trust in Harry. She had to believe that he would get her friend back safe and sound.

***

            The next day, Harry was awakened by incessant knocking on his door. He got up and opened it.

            “It’s 7:30, I’m making breakfast if you would like to join me,” she said. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

            “Offering me a last meal eh?” He joked with her. She raised an eyebrow.

            “Of course I’m not, but it might very well be your last meal with that attitude. I’m cooking steak and eggs. I’ll expect you down in half an hour,” she said and walked off, her long dress sweeping the dust off the floorboards. He shut his door and sat back on the bed for a minute. He hoped things would go well today. He certainly didn’t feel like his life was in danger, as he imagined a lot of people felt before facing a similar situation, but then again he could be reading his gut wrong.

            He dressed at a leisurely pace and then made his way down stairs, where Hermione was just bringing the plates into the saloon. She looked up and smiled at him.

            “Right on time!” She said and set his plate down on the table closest to the bar. The steak smelled scrumptious and tasted even better.

            “So, do you own this place and run it on your own?” He asked her. She nodded.          

            “Yes I do,” She said and shoveled a fork full of peppered eggs into her mouth. He looked a little surprised. He wondered if it was always as busy as it was yesterday and how she handled the place by herself like that. “It’s good money, I get my liquors delivered once a month from St. Louis up north. I’ve thought about hiring help off and on, but I really like being able to run the show myself. I’m a take charge kinda gal,” She finished.

            “Do you have a fellow?” He asked as she was taking a drink of beer.

            “Not quite,” she said as she wiped off the table. Harry just nodded his head and finished his breakfast. He had no sooner put the last bite of steak in his mouth when the saloon doors burst open. Luna and Ginny waltzed in. Hermione waved. The two headed for Harry and sat down on both sides of him.

            “Are you nervous?” Ginny asked as she turned the chair around backwards and straddled it. Luna plopped down into hers and put her feet up on the table. Hermione brought them both two shots of whiskey. Luna paid for both of them. Harry looked from one to the other.

            “Not really,” he said as Ginny did her first shot. “Um isn’t it a little early to be drinking?” he asked, looking back and forth between the two women. Hermione HAD said they sit around all day and drink. He reckoned that they were her best customers and ended up paying for most of her liquor expenses.

            “And what else would you have us doing at this time of day Mr. New Guy Sheriff?” Luna asked as she sat up straight and took her first shot. She smacked the shot glass on the table and stuck out her tongue at Ginny. Harry got up and went outback. Hermione was out there stirring a giant vat of water heated over a flame.

            “Do you know where Seamus lives?” he asked. “I need to talk to him about what is going to happen today,” Hermione kept stirring without looking up and pointed over to a house about 200 yards away.

            “That’s his house right there,” she said, and then looked up.

“Have those two finished their drinks yet?” She asked and gestured to the door with her head. Harry shrugged.

            “Far as I know, they’ve got one left for each of them,” he said and began walking over to Seamus’ house. He wondered when it had rained here last, as he kicked up dirt with the tip of his boots as he walked.        

He knocked on the expensive glass and wood door at Seamus’ house. He only had a few seconds to actually look at the house, and imagine the pile of loot Seamus had gotten for catching Draco Malfoy. Another thought crossed his mind. No one in the town seemed to have any means of making money except for Lavender and Hermione. He wondered where the rest of the population acquired money.

            The door opened and a house elf answered the door. She looked at Harry.

            “You must be the new sheriff. Winky will let the master know you’re here sir, please come in,” she said and stood aside, gesturing for him to walk through the door. He complied and was seated in the parlor. It was functional, but lacked a feminine touch. This was, without a doubt, a man’s house. She came back and opened a cigar box for him but he declined.

            “Good morning sheriff,” Seamus said as he entered the parlor. The house elf closed the box and nodded to Seamus as she left the parlor. Harry stood up and shook his hand. They both sat down.

            “You’re here to discuss today’s plan?” Seamus asked. Harry nodded and took out one of his hand rolled cigarettes and lit it.

            “Do you think there should be a plan? This morning I woke up normally. I certainly don’t feel like a dead man walking. My gut tells me that today will run smoothly,” Harry said, and took a long drag from his cigarette. Seamus frowned.

            “Even so, you should still have a contingency plan incase your gut is wrong,” he said. Harry nodded.

            “Yes, I suppose you’re right. I don’t think it should be anything more then you up on the roof, though,” Harry said as he looked out the front window. He could still see Hermione shuffling around out back of the saloon. He looked back to Seamus. “Could you handle that?”

            “Yes. I have just the rifle for the job. It’s accurate so there will be no worries,” Seamus said with an assured tone.

            “Good. We should both head into the center of town then. I would offer to buy you a drink, but I feel we should both be sober until this is over,”

***

            Harry paced the saloon. People took his pacing as nervousness, but it was really just eagerness to get the girl back. It was nearly noon and everything was in place. Seamus was up on the roof of the saloon with his rifle, waiting for action. Luna and Ginny had been trying to sell him a bulletproof helmet. (Which was really just a copper saucepan with the handle cut off)

Lavender’s only indication of nervousness was the handkerchief she continually wrung in her hands, to the point where her fingers turned purple. Hermione patted her on the shoulder to comfort her.

            Harry took a deep breath and stepped out of the saloon at 11:59. There was no sign of the Voldemort anywhere. Noon came and went and he still didn’t show up. Harry grew nervous now. Had he been fooled? Maybe the Voldemort never had any intentions of giving the girl back. He cursed his stupidity in trusting the man until five past noon, when a single gunshot echoed on the buildings. Harry looked up and saw him. Lord Voldemort stood alone. Harry had expected him to bring the girl and do a quick exchange. Apparently, he’d expected too much.

            “Where is she Voldemort?” Harry called. From this distance, he imagined Voldemort’s grin more then he actually saw it.

            “A change of plans,” Voldemort said and began to walk towards Harry. “I got to thinking and realized there was nothing keeping you from killing me once I gave the girl back. I was a bit liquored up when I wrote the note and the hefty fine on my head had slipped my mind. When you live out on your own away from people, you tend to forget little details. But no need to worry, I’m clear headed again!” Voldemort said. Harry squinted.

            “So where is she?” he asked. Voldemort chuckled and looked past Harry.

            “Why don’t you turn around and see for yourself?” he said. Harry was opposed to turning his back to such an untrustworthy man, but the thought of Seamus up on the roof gave him a bit of confidence. What was the Voldemort’s plan? Did he have Parvati tied up somewhere? Was he going to run when Harry’s back was turned, or was he going to draw his gun and force Seamus to kill him, before revealing Parvati’s location? All these things were going through his mind when he turned. At first he saw nothing but the desert behind him. Then, a small figure stepped out from a building. It was a young girl, probably no older then 17, holding a gun. Her smile was similar to the Voldemort’s. She was dressed scantily, in lace and leather with a holster around her waist.

            “Parvati?” Harry said, a little mystified as to why she had him at gunpoint. She nodded.

            “Yes?” It was both a response and question, her smile unwavering.

            “What is this?” Harry asked. Parvati shrugged.

            “I’ve changed my mind about things. Voldemort helped me realize some things over these past few weeks. He’s helped me see that I’m more then all of this,” she waved the gun around to indicate the town. “Working in that blasted store with Lavender in this useless little death pit, it’s choking me! I was meant for more then this. And now I’ve found my true calling. Voldemort here is going to teach me all I need to know to be his partner. Our first task was this little town, but YOU had to come along, all high and mighty and take my opportunity. I WANTED THIS TOWN!” She screamed. Harry blinked. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

            “You wanted the very town that was choking you? How-why? There’s no power to be had in this place! It’s a dust bowl!” Harry asked. Parvati sneered at him.

            “We needed a homestead, a place where no one would ever bother looking and we could exist freely. A place that could be easily controlled, and what better place then a dusty little one road town where everyone knows and trusts you?” She said with her teeth clenched, not bothering to hide her disgust. Harry’s head swam from the heat and the revelation. He looked to the door of the saloon where Lavender stood, her hands clenching her face in horror. Parvati looked to Lavender and waved.

            “Hello darling!” She called to her. Lavender stepped away from the door and out into the bright street.

            “A few weeks?” She asked. “You’ve only been gone for a week, Are you telling me that you PLANNED this?” She asked. Her face and voice were horrified. Parvati nodded.

“Everything was planned, My absence turned abduction, and Voldemort’s introduction to the town. But we didn’t plan on having meddlers. No one ever comes here! How were we to know anyone would come and stick up for the town?” Parvati said. Lavender just shook her head.

“Parvati, listen to what you’re saying! You sound like you’ve been brainwashed! You can’t possibly mean any of it! It’s not too late to do the right thing,” Lavender pleaded. “I’ll forgive you, WE ALL WILL,”

“SCREW THE RIGHT THING! I’M DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO, AND NEED NOTHING FROM YOU,” Parvati screamed. Harry found his voice and spoke up.

“So the plans you made were ruined. Why go through with them? Even if you kill me, do you think the town will go along with your plans? Do you really think they’ll keep quiet now?” He asked as he felt something butt up against his head. Harry didn’t have to turn around to know that Voldemort had a gun to his head.

“She needed the practice. There’s only so much she can learn shooting cans and helpless snakes off of rocks. She needs the live practice, something smart enough to try and escape and dodge her bullets,” he said in a raspy voice. Lavender tried her hand at negotiating again.

“Please Parvati. Harry is here to help you. He’s out here to save your life!” She begged. Parvati spat on the ground.

“I don’t need saving,” she said coldly. Then without warning, she pointed her gun up at the saloon roof and fired once. Harry heard Seamus scream and winced. She turned her gun back to Harry.

“Surprised?” She asked. “That was so predictable. A man on the roof with a gun? Please. I have to say that ever since Seamus caught that train robber, he’s become just a little too high and mighty for his own good.

“So what’s it gonna be? Your little pet is out of commission, there two people with guns on you and there’s no way that you could ever reach yours in time before either of us fire,” Parvati cooed.

Harry looked to Lavender. She was visibly shaking. Without warning, Lavender screamed and struck out at Parvati, knocking the gun from her hand. Harry took his chance and snatched his gun, turned and fired. Voldemort howled and a look of horror spread on his face. His gun dangled on his fingertip before falling. The Voldemort staggered backwards, with enough time to look down at his wound before falling over dead. Parvati screamed and struggled with Lavender, trying to get to her fallen mentor. Lavender did her best to hold her down, but Parvati’s struggles turned the effort into a brawl. Quite suddenly, Hermione strode outside with a shotgun and held it at the two.

“That’s enough Parvati, please just give up,” Hermione said. The two women finally stopped. They were both crying, though for different reasons.

***

            And so Harry collected the bounty on Lord Voldemort’s dead body. Parvati indeed had been brainwashed by Voldemort, and as a result, Ginny and Luna made a killer business selling tinfoil hats. It took the expertise of several head doctors in New York to get Parvati back to her normal self, and as promised, she was forgiven by everyone and accepted back into the town with open arms. Seamus survived the gunshot, and now had a battle scar he could show off to the ladies.

            “Thank you Harry,” Parvati said in Lavender’s store when she returned to the town from New York.

“I’m really grateful. You paid for all my expenses even after I intended to kill you. There are no words, and no amount of money in the world to thank you with,” she said. Harry merely smiled.

            “Don’t worry about it,” he said and rubbed a smear off his brand new Sheriff badge. Parvati smirked.

            “So you’re staying after all?” She said. “Voldemort wasn’t the only criminal blowing around this part of the world,”

            “It looks like I am,” he said and smiled.

The End

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