Diary of a Slytherin- Part one

School starting

Day one: We were pulled into a small hallway. I looked around seeing these half-wit children who call themselves witches and wizards. Where is a mallet when you need it the most. We are then led into the great hall and place on this chair. Sooooo Not my style of comfy. It’s a wooden chair with no arms and its not leather. HOW DARE THEM. Anyways they mess up my beautiful long black hair with this back dated 1830’s black rusty old hat. Well everything was fine till it talked in my ear. OH GREAT so he moves around messing it up more. Of course I get sorted into Slytherin. We sit down and eat after everyone was sorted. Dumbledore is cool he fed us. I don’t think he is as bad as others say he is. How can a guy who gives me a 4-course meal a bad person. PSSSSSSSh these people are crazy. Well now its time for bed. I get to my room and my stuff is out. I see that god awful sweater my grandma knitted me. I stuff it in my trunk and smile knowing I wont see it til school was over. I wrap up in my muggle down comforter and fall to sleep.

Day Two: I wake up and hear others talking. HELLO PEOPLE I AM A PRINCESS I AM NOT TO BE WOKEN UP BY NOISE. I suck it up realizing people are excited. Wow now we have to go to class. My first one is potions. OOH man and the professor is Snape. * drools* I love him. So we get to class, he walks in and stares at the nappy haired potter. GOD HELLO LOOK AT ME I AM PRETTY. He ignores me, he is now on my crap list. When he walks past my table I drop my wand on the floor so he will pick it up. He doesn’t…I will have his head I swear if he ignores me one more time. Its okay, I am fine, no big deal. I pick up my wand and before I know it class is over. I realized that man needs to smile. Zoloft will fix it. I will slip some in his drink at lunch. How evil of me. I will find some right away. I head to Divinations class. Wow this is cool read out of tea cups. I look at my tea cup and realize its cheap kitchen ware. Wow don’t you guys have an style at all?. I then decide to look for the teacher. She comes out of nowhere. I scream cause I think she has been electrocuted. Then to my embarrassment I realize well she has never heard of a brush. At the end of class I kindly place a brush on her desk and smile. I leave and then think wait go back. I cant pull myself to do it but I need to inform her Muggles have things called contacts. The day slowly ends and I write to a muggle friend and ask her to find Zoloft my teacher needs it. Then to bed I go.

Day 3: Wow class sucks, not much going on. I notice this Draco Malfoy character. Yeah he is kind of cute but he is a GIRLY MAN. He notices me and walks towards me. I realized he has two barnyard animals following him. Looks like a large goat and a potbelly pig. When they get close enough I realize well…they are just some fat kids. So I smile and we chat about how rich he is. He does have nice hair but he clearly doesn’t realize I have more money then him. I hate him already no one can be richer than me…I am Kendra Dean. His family is like poor old Muggles compared to mine. I decide to head to my room and do some homework. I begin to fall asleep and then I put everything away and get in bed.

Day 4: I hear they are having Quidditch try outs. I cant join cause I am a first year. I find out that POTTER made the team. I think that is crazy the kid cant even see out of his glasses and his hair is always messy and he lives with these fat Muggles. How did he get so popular. Oh I know its because blah blah, Voldemort and he gave him a scar and he was the boy that lived. Sooooo I guess I will go knock on Voldemort's door when he comes out of hiding ask him to hit me with a scar and then I get to be on the Quidditch team and have a Red head boy and a know it all girl follow me around. Okay never mind I quit, that’s just creepy. I am not to sure about these GRYFFINDOR characters. I think they are just broke Slytherin’s. I mean god they do get into trouble. Anyways the day continues on when I get a letter from Mum. She says she is so proud I made it into Slytherin. I look at the letter and think, DUUUUH All of our family was in Slytherin you dork!!. Then I think for a second. I think I would go to the restricted section of the library and find a killing curse for myself just in case I see that 1950’s disco hat thing again and he says I needed to be in Hufflepuff. I shudder at the thought. I decide to walk around a bit and run into Harry Potter. Here is my chance. I can knock him out. No problem just reach out and SLAAAAAAAM. I couldn’t do it. His hair looked dirty and I couldn’t bring myself to touch him. How gross…ewww…I think Hermione what’s her face likes dirty guys. She is weird. I manage to smile at him though. I head to the great hall and sit at the Slytherin table of course for dinner. Draco sits near me and blows me a kiss. Uh…does he know that he is a GIRLY MAN. I smile and roll my eyes and continue to eat. Dinner is over and I head to bed.

Day 5:  My friend sends a package back it has what I had asked for. VICTORY AT LAST. I crush some up and put it in my robe pocket. I head to potions class and smile at Snape again. He ignores me. This is getting on my nerves. This man is manic-depressive I know it. He must feel the need to play the bad guy roll because he couldn’t get another class to teach. Don’t take it out on us Tanya Harding I don’t know why you are so pissy….WEEEEEE didn’t make you the potions master. Class is over and I approach his desk and smirk. I tell him he is a great teacher and needs to smile. He just looks at me with his cold eyes and then looks down. I couldn’t get a smirk out of him. This sucks, I got just a great plan. I will give him Zoloft and a care package. I head to my room rummaging through my trunk of muggle things. I find some muggle Vidal Sassoon shampoo and some nice muggle male cologne. I wrap it up and put it in a small baggy. I run to professor Snape’s office and smile . I knock on the door but there is no answer. I slowly open the door and see no one is around. I put it on his desk and then see there is a tea set on the desk. I place some Zoloft in it and then I leave and smile. He will be so happy. He will have nice shiny non-greasy hair and he will smell nice. What a day this will be for him.

To Be Continued!!!

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