Mistaken Identity

 

I stir, not ready to face the day. Then, I see a horror like no other…

Red bedspreads?

Scarlet curtains?

Gryffindor slippers?

I scream loudly, throwing myself away from the quilt, as if it were poisonous.

”Xiporah!” someone says. I turn, to see…no…not her…anyone but her!

“Xiporah, it’s me, Hermione granger. Is something wrong?” asked the bushy-haired buck-toothed geek.

“What do you want?” I demand coldly.
”You sound like you had a bad dream,” she says calmly.

“More like a frickin’ nightmare!” I snap. “Is there any reason I’m wearing Gryffindor pyjamas?”

“Erm…because you’re in that house?” said Lavender, another pesky Gryffindor.

“Is this some kind of joke, Gryffin-bores?” I ask, looking for the exit.

“Why are you insulting your own house?” Missy asks.

“It’s not my house, moron. Now get out my way,” I snap, storming out the dormitory into the common room. I scream in shock.

 

I’m in the Gryffindor common room! Is there no end to this insanity? Have I finally been put on the psycho ward in Mungo’s?

“Xippy!” cried a voice, and I turn, to see my worst enemy…him! The ultimate evil! The one I truly hate.

”Have you had any breakfast yet?” the idiot only known as Kris asked.

“Why do you care, fool?” I snap, brandishing my wand.

“Easy! Easy!” Kris said, lowering my wand. And then he said the very worst words a Slytherin could possibly hear.

“I’m your friend.”

Screaming in abject horror, I run from him, leaving the common room and running towards the dormitories I know. I’m stopped in the corridor by Draco! Draco, he must remember me!

”Draco!” I cry.

“Where do you think you’re going, Xiporah?” he asked me. I frowned curiously.

“What the heck are you playing at, Malfoy? I woke up in the Gryffindor dormitories!” I snap back.
”You’re an insult to Purebloods, Greezel.” He says to me, and he walks away, leaving me alone in the corridor. I stand there, gaping idiotically as he walks away.

How could this be? Slytherins don’t even recognize me? I see a little Hufflepuff girl walking past me. I decide to hex her and prove my Slytherin-ness. Brandishing my wand, and selecting the best curse or hex.

The little girl screams. I…I…oh god no…I can’t even bring myself to speak one of the Unforgivable curses. How can I possibly be a Slytherin?

Then, Headmaster Hawkeye comes up to me. “What are you doing?” he asks kindly.

“I…” I begin, but my sneaky Slytherin ways are gone! I am horrified to find out I cannot lie! I am compelled to tell the truth. “I was trying to curse a little Hufflepuff girl,” I admit, sounding guilty.

“I see…and did you?” the Headmaster asks.
”…No, I couldn’t.” I respond, shamefully.

“That was a very noble thing, Xiporah,” he says and I run away screaming.

”NOT THAT WORD! IT BURNS!” I cry, as I head for the Great Hall. I bump into Pippin and Richard, both grinning idiotically.

”How are you today, Xiporah?” Pippin asks.

“Why do you care?” I snap angrily.
”Friendly concern,” Richard says.

“I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND, GOD DAMNIT!” I cry, running away from them.

I end up bumping into Solo, who smiles calmly. “Having a nice day, Xiporah?” she asks. I scream and run away.

Eventually I bump into Jacinda.

”Jaci! Jaci! Oh please, Jaci, speak to me!” I beg, grabbing handfuls of her robes.

“Get off me, you Lion-lover.” She snaps. “Salazar Slytherin is probably rolling in his grave that a perfectly good Slytherin is in Gryffindor.”

I fall to my knees screaming and it all goes black.

I wake up screaming.

”Something wrong, Xiporah?” asks Jaci.

”It’s nothing…just a bad dream.” I say, going back to sleep, with my Gryffindor slippers tucked safely under my bed.